here's the thing. there have been moments when i have questioned our decision to bring bella home, questioned our decision to continue to keep her. there have been moments when i have sobbed because i have felt so hopeless. moments when Bella and her issues have driven a wedge in my relationship with my partner.

but for some reason i can't give up. not yet anyway.

we made a promise to her when we brought her home. i knew she'd be a handful. i knew that she was a rescue dog, a pit, that she was lacking in manners, that she needed a a firm hand, love, structure, stability. i know pit bulls. i expected her to be stubborn. i expected her to be needy. i didn't expect her to be so very fucked up.

i don't know what happened to her. or even if nothing much happened other than neglect and some encouragement of aggression. but i do know that she is damaged. very damaged. but she is sweet. and smart. and i fell in love with her when i met her.

i don't know what's wrong with people. that we so often throw away animals. that we treat them like they don't matter. even when they are completely and utterly dependent on them.

things have been so much better since Lauren started helping us. i can't believe how powerful the clicker training is. it's given me hope.

EEEK

a few months ago, a new dog found us.  and she has turned our world upside down.  at least a little.

this week when i broke up one of the latest dog fights, i got bit.  not by the new dog.  it was my fault for sticking my hand in the middle. 

so we are starting an intensive program of dog behavior modification and clicker training.  the trainer thinks this will take six to eight months.

this is our story.